Validation means that we are acknowledging another person’s emotions, thoughts, experiences, values, and beliefs. Validation isn’t about agreeing, placating, “fixing” the other person, trying to get someone to change, or repeating back what the other person has said.
Why validate? Validation is essential to meaningful connection. We all need validation at one time or another. Consistent and purposeful validation helps us to build relationships. Using validation tells the other person, “You are important. Our relationship matters."
If you are looking to validate someone in your life, try out one of these statements and questions:
• I believe in you.
• We are going to get through this.
• Tell me more about…
• How are you feeling today?
• I’m sorry that I hurt you.
• Help me to understand what you’re thinking.
• You are having a sad/tough/yucky day.
• What happened? (Avoid asking, “What is wrong?”)
• Our family sticks together.
• It makes sense that you feel…
• It makes sense that you think…
• I want to hear about your morning/afternoon/day.
• I’ve noticed that you…
• I wonder if you…
• I need your help with…
• Thank you for being someone I can trust.
• What do you need from me right now?
• It meant a lot to me when you…
• What you are thinking/feeling is normal.
• How can I help?
• I value your ability to…
• I believe we can figure this out together.
• Will you forgive me for…?
• Can I get your opinion on…?
• You’re right.
• You were right.
• Your emotions make sense.
• I can understand that feeling/I know that feeling.
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